ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Small penises have feelings too.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
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