With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Randomize
