Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Randomize
