Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
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