I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
So squirting runs in the family.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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