Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
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