i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
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