I want to walk on stilts...naked
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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