Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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