Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Randomize
