I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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