You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
