He disabled his match.com account in front of me
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
