i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Randomize
