grandma shit on top of the toilet
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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