I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize
