I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
