im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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