But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
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