one might say we're banned from that church
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
Randomize
