Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
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