No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
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