Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
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