I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Randomize
