How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
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I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
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Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
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