I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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