i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Randomize
