i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
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