i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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