apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize