At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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