well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Come share oat with me in your robe
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
