Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
