dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
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