i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
