Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
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