He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Randomize
