you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
