you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
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