How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize