I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
