I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Randomize
