hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
