he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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