What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Randomize
