Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Congratulations! We have a period
Randomize
