Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
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