I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
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Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
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Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
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