I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Randomize
