no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
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