my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
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