she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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