Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize
