I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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