Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize