the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize