my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
false alarm. still invincible.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
We had sex on a dog bed..
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
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