Your dad touched me again.
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
This house was built for laser tag.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
